Relationships suffer between parent and child/teen/young adult when the student is experiencing difficulties managing school expectations. Often a “crisis” is brewing, or has been going on for some time, when I am contacted. Parents always want the best for their children- to be happy and successful.
The Importance of Strong Relationships Between Parents, Students, and Therapists
When a situation arises that causes this not to be the case, stress begins to build in the relationship. Parents become fearful, as they can see what is coming ahead, and want to keep the negative situations from playing out. More often than not, this means placing controls and limits on their child surrounding school performance. Resentment and anger directed at the parent(s) is usually the scenario that occurs. If all that is being discussed between parent and child is school, it creates a toxic environment with little space for a positive relationship to develop.
In the beginning of working with a new client, I make it clear that my desire is to keep school behavior only being discussed between the student and myself. Parents need to step back and breathe, and allow me room to take over the accountability factor. Of course, there will be communication between the parents and myself. If I observe any changes that are negative in nature and are cause for more intervention, that would be shared. The main goal for me is to develop a trusting relationship in order to allow the student to work through the issues creating difficulties in school, and come out successful on the other side.